KIM SPRAGGON
I had grown up in the church, but it seemed I was always searching for something.

In my teen years I started “looking for love in all the wrong places” as the song goes. I thought that if I had someone to love that that would fill that need inside of me. So, even though I knew he was the wrong one, I married the first guy who asked me and because I was pregnant. He was in the Air Force and I thought I had it made.

Needless to say things turned bad very quickly. He was into drinking and drugs and soon I was too. Again, I was trying to fill the emptiness inside that was growing day by day, or at least to cover up the hurt.

Then, when I was pregnant with our second child my husband had an affair with my best friend. I was devastated that they both could hurt me so much. I felt helpless. We stayed together, though, and when our second child was about 6 months old, I found out I was pregnant again.  I just knew that if my husband almost left me for someone else when I was pregnant before that now, after only 6 months, he definitely would.

I was at such a low point in my life that I thought I couldn’t possibly make it on my own, so I reasoned that I had to sacrifice my child so that I would not lose my husband. So I made the appointment to have an abortion. He didn’t even go with me and to this day we have never discussed it.

Well, now my life really started to spiral out of control. The pain of a husband that could leave me at any moment, 2 children, and the regret of the abortion just compounded the need to be accepted and loved. The alcohol and drug use increased, I started seeking out other men to fill the void that continued to grow. Through all this there was also physical and mental abuse from my husband. This got worse and worse to where one night he literally tried to kill me. And still, I stayed with him. I don’t know why. The fear I guess; fear of him; fear of the unknown.

Then came his second affair (at least I think that’s all there was). I wasn’t sure until when we came back from overseas and he dropped me on my parent’s doorstep with our two daughters and moved in with his new girlfriend. That was the best thing that could have ever happened to us.

My mom has always been the spiritual person in our family and I know that she continually prayed for me. We soon divorced and I started going back to church. Not willingly, mind you, and I was still partying almost every night. I got married again to a guy I worked with. Then I started taking a class that the church offered.

I thought, what have I gotten myself into, this is way over my head and I just don’t understand, even though I had grown up in the church! Since I am not one who quits, I continued to take more classes and then it finally started making sense: I had been trying to do everything my way all my life. Then I finally realized that I couldn’t, and that the love and acceptance I was searching for can only come from Jesus Christ. He is the only one who could fill that void inside me.

So, little by little, it didn’t come all at once, I started letting Jesus take control of my life and putting my trust solely in Him. No more drugs; no more abuse; no more "looking for love in all the wrong places." One huge thing that I learned was that if God’s acceptance and love was all that I ever received on this earth, then He was enough for me.

I continue to learn more and more and to pray and to trust Jesus. And now I know for sure that I have eternal life in Heaven because of what Jesus has done in my life! God is such an awesome Person! He can take a horrible experience in your life and turn it around for good.

I now am the Director of New Hope Pregnancy Center and I am able to help women to not make the mistake I did, but to choose life for their babies. I'm also able to help those who are suffering because of a past abortion. My husband (who wasn't a Christian when we married) and I are leading a small group bible study and we are both continuing to grow in our relationship together and with Jesus.

We are very active with the youth in our church and really enjoy the challenge of helping them grow and mature in their relationship with Jesus Christ. God truly can fill that void that we all have inside. Just let Him come in!